Maybe There’s Something to “Don’t Cry Over Spilled Milk”
The Perspective Shift #11
I have a good one for you today 🤪
Yesterday morning I was on a walk with Charlotte to one of my favorite coffee shops by my parents’ house (we’re visiting) to grab a cold brew. The day before had been a doozy and I was ready to kick off this one with a fresh start.
So I get the coffee, take one sip, and turn around to head back.
Then, I kid you not minutes later (didn’t even get to take another sip), the stroller cupholder—which apparently wasn’t clipped in right—spun upside down, and the entire coffee spilled all over the sidewalk.
Gone. All of it. Minus that one sip.
I looked down at the coffee on the sidewalk and had that I might cry moment.
My brain immediately jumped into overdrive → You’re so dumb! What a waste of $6. I guess no coffee for me today. Jokes on me for my fresh start.
It was wild how fast my mind immediately made this spilled coffee mean so much.
But then I paused. Why am I making this mean so much?
Why not just walk back, tell them what happened, and ask if they’ll let me pay for a refill?
Worst case is they say no and I spend another six dollars. Not ideal, but I’ve definitely dealt with worse.
So I walked back to the coffee shop, empty cup in hand, told them what happened, and asked if I could just pay for a refill. And they gave me a new one for free. (YAY!)
Now let me just tell you, there was a time in my life when that spilled coffee would’ve wrecked my whole morning. Maybe even my whole day. Because 1) the situation itself and 2) I wouldn’t have even considered going back and asking for a refill.
And that got me thinking…
SOMETHING TO THINK ABOUT
You know the saying, “Don’t cry over spilled milk?” I think there’s a bigger message in that…
What if the small, annoying moments—spilled coffee, traffic delays, tech glitches—aren’t just inconveniences… but invitations?
✔️ Invitations to notice the story your brain tries to tell.
✔️ To practice staying grounded when your nervous system wants to spin out.
✔️ To choose a response that aligns with who you're becoming, not who you used to be.
Because if we can’t regulate ourselves over spilled milk, how can we expect to regulate when life spills something much bigger?
SOMETHING TO ASK YOURSELF
What do you need to practice in the small moments?
→ Is it pausing before reacting?
→ Letting go of the story your brain is spinning?
→ Speaking to yourself with more kindness?
How can you use life’s little frustrations to build the emotional muscle you’ll need when the stakes are higher?
SOMETHING TO TRY
This week, treat one small inconvenience as your emotional training ground. When something annoying happens, take a breath and look at it as practice.
→ Gently remind yourself: I don’t need to make this mean so much.
Because learning how to regulate in the smaller moments is how you learn to regulate in the bigger ones.
👏👏👏
Perfect example: If you didn’t see my IG story about the plane ride here… Charlotte threw up all over herself 30 minutes into our 4-hour flight. Yep.
And I forgot to pack a change of clothes.
And there was no getting her back to sleep after that.
And she’s a toddler. On a plane.
It was a mess (literally). But I stayed calm. I didn’t spiral. I put my sweatshirt on her, and we got through the rest of the flight.
It felt like a 12-hour flight… but nonetheless, we made it.
And I fully believe the only reason I could regulate myself in a situation that truly could’ve triggered a full-on meltdown (from her and me) was because of all the practice I’ve had in the small ones.
This stuff works. Truly.
xx
Ry